Fair warning: this is going to be a long one.
It started with a two hour Zoom meeting, then ended with a three hour phone call.
Five hours of weaving thoughts, making connections, and having little epiphanies by chain reaction!
My friend groups are all very small; very few members in very separate bubbles. I’m not sure if its my introverted nature that caused that to happen, or if it’s just that we fell into small groups by shared interest. Either way, one of these little groups serves as a safe place to discuss our shared “weird” spirituality. There are six of us, all women, in this particular group chat, and we occasionally have a zoom call for deeper discussions. Being scattered across the country, it’s the best we can do. Only four of us could make it to this Zoom meeting, but we tend to record and share within the group. This post is a way for me to journal on our latest discussion and share that experience with you. I hope you gain something from it!
At about 8pm on June 9th, 2023 we started our call with everyone sharing what they’ve been up to, and what kind of guidance they’d like to request from the universe. It came to light that all of us were feeling ungrounded about our spiritual path, and wanted reassurance. I should add here that we often end the meetings with a guided meditation. One of our members, I’ll call her Raven for now, is very gifted with channeling guidance while leading us through a meditation. With that in mind, we go about our conversation and usually land on a topic for the closing meditation.
Eventually, we found our topic: Divine Union, or lack thereof. Some of us have a strong desire for a deep, committed romantic relationship, yet we feel like we are blocked from finding it. Some of us feel like that type of partnership would be great… but finally have freedom to build our lives however we choose and that is far too glorious to give up! (our age group is 35+. This is not about sowing wild oats). So it all boils down to feeling blocked from our person in some way.
Then the realization came that the four of us on the call are those who are single. The two unable to make the call? Married.
We are all on the same page as far as not settling for less than our fullest expression of self-love. None of us will invest in a connection where we can’t be our authentic selves. We are sick to death of watering down or hiding our spirituality, and never discussing what we understand of the universe. It’s just not worth the sacrifice. One said that she was not willing to give up her freedom; for the first time in her life, she can really just do what she wants without adjusting for anyone else. Right now, that makes her very happy. But why do we feel that we can’t have a loving, trusting relationship, and feel in control of how we live our lives?
And now, a side story must be woven into this quilt:
Two or three weeks before this Zoom meeting, I had gone to Oslo, Norway. I visited A Virtual Viking Museum and played with an interactive simulation activity. I was instructed to choose a player. I don’t remember them exactly, but it was something like this:
A. Community leader or warrior (man).
B. Man of the house/father.
C. Woman of the house/mother.
D. Shaman/healer (woman).
Which community member did I want to be? The Mystic, obviously!
Then you choose your clothing and other things about the character you’re building, and it tells you afterward how you fared. A little synopsis pops up at the end saying whether or not you were successful, how many people you helped and how much you earned and so on and so forth.
That night, I couldn’t sleep between the jet lag and the excitement of traveling, so I thought, “well, I might as well meditate”. I don’t recall what my intention was for this meditation, but all the sudden it was very clear that I have been choosing, maybe for many lifetimes, between being a family woman *or* diving into a spiritual path. One or the other. Never both. In an instant that concept was very clear to me, and I realized I need to change my default setting if I want to build a family dynamic with someone. I don’t necessarily mean birth children, but if I want to have a marriage and also develop my spiritual gifts and follow my spiritual purpose, I can do that! I just have to get out of the belief that I cannot have both.
Back to the Zoom call:
That memory came up strongly while I was listening to my friends talk about not being able to develop the relationship that they wanted. I waited for an opportunity to speak on that memory. I explained the back story and the meditation. The point of the call suddenly felt very clear: we have been fearful in many lifetimes about our spiritual gifts being exposed, or felt we had to sacrifice having a close relationship in order to follow our spiritual path. This resonated with my friends, so we decided our intention for the meditation would be to release, dissolve, or otherwise end any soul contracts that are no longer serving us in this lifetime- specifically focusing on those which are hindering romantic connection.
Channeling meditations is one of Raven’s spiritual gifts. In the meditation, she had us call forth any contracts that cause conflict between developing the relationship and developing spiritual gifts. Any contracts like that, if they’re ready to be acknowledged and ended, the the intention was for those contracts to come to light and be closed out.
I don’t know what my friends experienced in this meditation. When Raven feels the guidance is complete, she leaves us in silence and the zoom meeting is turned off. That way, we can meditate until everyone feels their experience is complete. What I’m going to share now is only my experience with this meditation.
When asking the relevant contracts to come forth, I saw three images come into my mind’s eye, in a row from left to right.
1. On the left was a book. It appeared to be a very old, bound, I don’t think it was leather but it also wasn’t a modern hardback or paperback. Something in between. For lack of a better reference, imagine, like, The Book of Shadows. Anyway, this was a very well-made, very old, very special book. The spine was about an inch thick and it was laying open with a feather quill pen and the concept of “Old English” came to mind. I was worried I wouldn’t be able to read it, but I didn’t see the writing up close. I just saw the image of the book and the quill pen.
2. The second contract, in the center, there was a verbal contract. I saw myself as a woman from long ago. I was wearing looked similar to what Amish women wear, but maybe not a dark color for the dress. I felt like the dress had an apron on the front on it, and I felt like I was wearing a bonnet with my hair up under it. Again, an older culture or an older time period. Maybe Eastern European? Anyway, it was a verbal contract and I was witnessing the moment that it was agreed upon.
3. On the right? Well, I couldn’t really envision the contract on the right. It did not come into focus, but there was a place holder in my minds eye for a third contract.
I addressed the verbal contract first. I asked that the words between the two people be swept up and away with the wind (as the meditation instructed), and go back to where the energy could be transmuted. It was my intention for the benefits of that contract remain in the time and space where it was relevant. The goal was not to erase it from all time and space, but it is not relevant or beneficial in this lifetime. So that one was handled and done.
Next I addressed the book because I could see it -as opposed to the one on the right that just looked like a gray placeholder. I shifted my focus to the book, and Raven had said something like, “feel free to ask your spirit guides or your higher guidance how to close these contracts. ‘What is the best way to resolve, or end, or see this contract come to its conclusion?’”. So I did! The guidance I received was, “just ‘date it!’”. Literally put a date on it? Spirit is a genius! It makes sense because whenever this contract was valid, it wasn’t 2023. So I asked, “okay, well, then what is the date? When was this contract valid?” Immediately 1692 was in my head. I tried to double check (which really I shouldn’t do – they’re very quick on answering), and felt like maybe it was 1695. I went back and forth a few times but 1695 came from second guessing, and 1692 was immediate. So I decided 1692 was from higher guidance. I saw 1692 appear on the front of the book in large, golden script as if it was being written by an invisible quill.
And then some additional information dropped in: the concept of the Salem witch trials. No context. Just, “Salem Witch Trials”. Of course now my conscious mind is intruding, bug time. I’m thinking “no way”. I sort of come out of meditation at that point. Like, I couldn’t put aside my conscious mind anymore with that information. So I sat up and I thought, “no the Salem witch trials would have been later… they must have been in the 1700s…” I thought about it for a minute and I know some about it, but not the dates. So I had myself convinced that that it must have happened in the 1700s “but I’ll Google it to make sure” – so I did a quick search and I kid you not, the exact year 1692 popped onto my phone screen!!! Completely dumbfounded, I had to read it three times because I could not believe what I was seeing!! I am not one to recall times, or dates. It’s just not something that I would have known, especially to the exact year. remember i tried to guess and had the wrong century. So I’m just sitting there in the dark, with my mind completely blown, freaking out. Then i remember there was a date range in my head was 1692 and 1695. So maybe that those are the dates when that contract was valid? I’m not sure if that means that my life ended in 1695, or or what.
I sent a text to my friend group saying something like, like, “Wow, I had a really strong experience! I can’t wait to share!”. I thought I’d be going straight to bed because it was late and I need to work the next day, but Raven messaged back immediately saying, “you can’t leave it like that! I need to know!” So I called her.
I explained the whole thing to her and she said that she actually saw the quill pen pop into her mind while she was directing the meditation! So we got on with talking about the witch trials and I mentioned that I have wondered here and there if I had any connection to the witch trials. I’ve always dismissed the thought because I have no emotional reaction, and I really enjoy fire. I love a bonfire or fireplace, and I can’t help but throw any piece of cardboard I can find in it! So I don’t feel like I have a traumatic past life with fire. But then Raven mentioned that most of the women in the trials, if they were killed- they were hanged. Well, I REALLY don’t like things to be tight around my neck! I have several t-shirts that are crew neck, and I’ve cut the collar hem off to make them wider. So… there’s that! It turns out that she also can’t stand things around her throat. Hmmm…
At some point, Raven went on to talk about something with astrology. I am not an astrologer. I don’t really get it. What I do understand is very basic and not worth trying to talk about. But she mentioned that we are in a time of big changes in thought processing, changes in our awareness, and certain aspects of our lives will be impacted between now and August 13th. Well, that’s interesting because I have a tattoo appointment on August 14th! She started to say something about how that makes sense that I would get something permanent after that time of change, but I interrupted her when it dawned on me -“Oh my God! Raven, my tattoo! It’s a book! A book with flowers around it, or coming out of it, or I don’t know- however the artist ends up drawing it, but I requested a book!
It’s June 10th now (on the phone call), and I made the tattoo appointment on May 1st. I didn’t choose the date of the tattoo appointment; it was given to me. I had to submit a request, hope that the artist would accept my project, and then wait for them to schedule me. So when they offered me August 14th, I just accepted it. There’s no way that’s a coincidence! My reasons for getting it corresponded loosely, but Raven felt strongly that that was about refreshing my soul contract – making a new contract with myself- deciding for myself what I want in my life, and what I’m capable of! That was a really nice full circle moment.
Raven got the feeling that our little friend group was together in 1692, and that the contract I saw was a pact between us. She felt that we needed to be together again (in this life) to release it. Now is the time to release that binding because keeping Divine Union and spiritual development separate isn’t helpful anymore. Developing spiritually doesn’t put us in danger like it once did, and women have much more autonomy compared to other times in history.
Now, we can explore what this past connection was, and I think that’s really interesting! I want to go into my own akashic records and ask if 1695 has any significance. I would also like to look at that third contract, the one I couldn’t see. I also want to see about the spiritual meaning to my tattoo because, while it’s very personal to me, the meanings are very much rooted in the 3D for this lifetime. At least that’s how I was thinking of it when I chose it. With all of this coming to light, I’m wondering if there is deeper spiritual purpose behind it that I’m not consciously aware of yet.
Thank you so much if you are still with me! I know this is a lot -and I know that it’s wild- but you can’t make this stuff up! I mean, I guess a good writer could… but I’m not a writer and I’m sure I’m not a good writer, so I appreciate you spending this time with me and listening to my story. I hope that this brings some new thoughts into your world, and I hope that it helps somehow!
I’ll catch you next time!